Through His Eyes
by xGlass
Summary: A blind Roxas attempts to teach a scarred Axel that "the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." AkuRoku.
1. Prologue

**Through His Eyes**

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom hearts!

A quick note: the rating is subject to change. It will most likely be M before this story is complete.

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

"_Beauty is the nymph's most valuable characteristic. It is prized above all other attributes because of the manipulative power it creates. This is especially true in the larger nymph communities, as the art of seduction is the primary form of social dominance. The more beautiful a nymph, the more influence he or she is able to exert over the entire community." _

Axel had always been beautiful. Stunning. Strikingly handsome. He really didn't care how it was phrased it as long as it was acknowledged. It really was to be expected, he mused, as ugly would simply not do. After all, he was a prince. He lazily shoved the book he'd been reading to the foot of his bed and flopped back onto his pillows.

His father, the king, had given him the book.

"This book provides an interesting perspective into our heritage and power struggles. I think it will answer your questions." Reno had said, which was by far the most intelligent statement Axel had ever heard from his dad. Not that Reno wasn't shocked by Axel asking for a book in the first place.

Axel hadn't had any questions. It was for his best friend.

"Good morning, Axel!" And Demyx was right on time; the clock now read seven-thirty. He'd been up since six, leafing through pages and mostly looking at the risqué photographs.

"Good morning, Dem. How are you?"

"I'm fantastic! Happy birthday, by the way! I made you breakfast because my cooking is the best." Demyx set his breakfast tray across his lap. "Eggs and bacon and some French toast!"

"Thank you. I got your book." He used his fork to nudge to the end of the bed. "I think it's what you want. I only really read the intro of the first chapter."

"Oh, Axel!" Demyx scooped up the book and pressed it close to his chest. "Do you think this will help me manipulate Zexion?"

Axel laughed. "It's worth a shot."

"It's not like he could be any more oblivious. I swear, I've picked up more objects recently…!" He huffed. "And he was all, 'Demyx, it's a good thing you're not dropping glasses.'"

"Maybe someday he'll start looking at your ass?"

Demyx sighed. "For someone so smart, he can be so stupid."

"Well, I wasn't going to say it—"

"Oh, shut up!" He laughed. "He'll get it one of these days."

"What? Your intentions or your body?" Axel smirked.

"I'm hoping both." Demyx placed the book to the side and pulled out a small piece of parchment. "A message from the king, also. 'Today, you turn twenty-one. Prepare for your Proving.' How kind of him to remind you."

Axel idly shoved his French toast through syrup on his plate. "It can't be that hard. What are they going to have me do, slay a dragon?"

"Well, it is a Royal Proving, and most of the ones I've researched involved a fight of some kind, usually involving swords or other hand-to-hand combat techniques to prove your supremacy and thus your position as heir to the throne."

Axel rolled his eyes. "You, research? Fess up, Zexion told you."

Demyx blushed. "Maybe."

"I still don't think I'll be fighting a dragon. And I'm good at fighting, so I don't think it will be a problem."

"Well, you'd better get ready, then! Have a good day, birthday boy, and good luck on your Proving!" Demyx winked at him, and then left.

Axel frowned. "Stupid Proving," he mumbled. "What's there to prove?"

* * *

It wasn't a fight with a dragon. It was a fight with Riku, which was just as good because Axel hated Riku's guts. If Axel was attractive, then Riku was just as drop-dead gorgeous. It had always annoyed Axel. _He_ had always annoyed Axel. Riku's family had once been Royal, but Riku's mother's decision to marry a human invalidated her position as heir to the throne. Riku had never forgiven his mother's choice, which Axel found ironic because then Riku wouldn't exist.

Well, thinking about it, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

But being Royal was complicated: it depended on power and bloodline, but mostly on beauty. Reno was and always would be very attractive. When Riku's mother abandoned the throne, the council had elected Reno as ruler in her place.

Riku was a bit pissed about all this, because he had just as much nymph blood as anyone else but couldn't reclaim the title he thought was his birthright.

Axel smirked. _No, it's __**my**__ birthright._

But then Axel and Riku fought.

And Riku won.

* * *

It was all he could see when he finally looked in the mirror. It was a nasty disfigurement, still red and purple from skin damage.

He now knew why his father wouldn't look him in the eyes when they came to his hospital bed. He knew why the nurses barely acknowledged him, why his bedside had no gifts or candies, why Demyx was not around to wait on him.

He was scarred. The thing was huge, striping down from the top left of his head, ripping across his forehead and stopping above his right eye, then cutting sharply back across his face over his nose. It then continued down the left side of his neck and ripped across his collarbone, stopping above his heart. It was massive and… and ugly. It was ugly. He was ugly.

Axel bit his lip. He no longer belonged to his society of beautiful people. Riku's victory was permanent. He traced the scar and found himself blinking back tears.

Axel didn't have to leave, but he felt that the social ostracization would drive him away eventually. He wanted to leave on his own terms. So after making what really wasn't a full recovery at all, and never would be, Axel grabbed his favorite black coat and his combat boots. And he left.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! Reviews are encouraged.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

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* * *

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"Because nobody goes through life without a scar." – Carol Burnett

* * *

"Fucking hell." Axel muttered to himself as he walked down one of the few lit paths in the park. It was dark now, a couple of hours after sunset. Axel had hoped things would be better by now, but they weren't. He focused his gaze on one of the many loose fragments of sidewalk littering his path. He kicked it. "Fucking hell."

He couldn't believe his life had turned out this way. He thought it would be so easy to leave his world behind and forge ahead in a new one. He may have been scarred and ugly, but he was still a _nymph. _That sort of beauty, even marred, was a sight to behold. Or so he had naïvely believed.

Axel had gotten disgusted looks all day. He'd asked for help and had been turned away countless times. Humans didn't speak to him if they could help it, but gawked and pointed instead as if he was a circus attraction meant for their morbid entertainment. Axel was used to being the center of attention, but the constant negative vibes were unsettling. _Perhaps, _Axel mused sardonically, _I make them feel that much better about themselves._

Axel hated their sick fascination. The fucking scar, as it was called in his head, had ruined his entire life. He'd left his home for this shithole of a city—he was a _prince, _damn it!

If it wasn't for the fucking scar, he was sure he'd still be able to reign. It was about beauty, after all, not power. Riku won the fight, but that was physical strength. The battle really should have been more like a show, but Riku twisted it like the little fucktard he was.

The human world was just as distasteful as he'd imagined it to be. It smelled like filth. It was covered in trash. Axel did not like it. The tall buildings were shoved together as if personal space was forbidden. Why was the place so densely populated? Was this normal to feel so suffocated by the endless rows of decrepit buildings? How could humans live in a world like this?

Axel wanted to go home.

He couldn't. The park was the closest thing he could find.

Axel sulked down the path until he found a wooden park bench. _It will have to do, _he decided.

He bunched his leather coat into a pillow and flopped onto the wood. It wasn't long enough. It wasn't very comfortable. But it would have to do.

Axel could picture Riku's smirking face in his mind.

_"How the mighty have fallen." _Riku snickered smugly. The little shit.

Axel fell asleep with a frown on his face.

The next day was not better.

He was again ignored when he asked for help.

"Worthless." One cruel man had hissed when he'd tripped over Axel's long legs sprawled out on the street. "Go back to where you came from."

Axel decided he wasn't going to stay with such fuckers. And so he stole a map and decided he was going to find his way to somewhere much nicer—and fucking _warmer—_than this shithole.

* * *

Twilight Town. Axel had decided he was leaving Hollow Bastion for the smaller community near the beach. Why the fuck not? What did Hollow Bastion have to offer besides mean fucks? Nothing.

Axel was taking the train. It was the cheapest form of transportation, and he'd found a person willing to buy him a ticket. An overweight, unattractive person with black hair sticking out from his head like a radish who apparently was willing to offer hot redheads free tickets.

This Pence was headed to Twilight Town as well. Why? Axel didn't ask. He didn't want to talk to the ugly motherfucker any more than he had to, regardless of the fact the guy had bought him a ticket.

Pence talked about insignificant things Axel could simply ignore. He mentioned a girlfriend and that was about all Axel got. The girl had to be hella ugly to go for a guy like Pence, Axel decided.

Twilight Town was much better than Hollow Bastion. Axel closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he got off the train. It was so much cleaner here.

Axel left Pence at the station in order to follow a cute blonde girl he'd seen leaving the train. He'd much rather stay with someone aesthetically pleasing.

* * *

Roxas wasn't very popular.

Roxas didn't think he'd ever be popular.

When he and Pluto went for walks, the normal volume of conversation dropped to muted whispers. Roxas didn't think of himself as egotistical, but he had a good feeling people were talking about him. You'd have to be an idiot to not notice the way people shifted away from him wherever he went. Not that he minded! Made walking so much easier and faster because Pluto didn't stop to sniff everyone's crotch/ass/smelly bits.

Today, however, Roxas was on a mission. He was out of food. Not just any food, dog food. And Pluto had not been pleased when they'd discovered it earlier that morning. Roxas didn't think he'd ever heard Pluto whine so loud.

He'd apologized, of course, but that didn't prevent the heat of Pluto's angry gaze. So Roxas had made some toast and donned a sweatshirt before grabbing his wallet and keys and Pluto's leash.

And that's where they were currently, on the way to the grocery store in order to buy whatever Pluto sat in front of today. Roxas let Pluto choose his own food. Why not? He was the one that had to eat it, not Roxas. It all smelled pretty repugnant, anyway. But for a dog that liked sniffing crotch and ass, Roxas decided it couldn't be too bad.

When they arrived at the store, Pluto immediately started pulling on the leash. Roxas chuckled.

"All right, all right! Let's go get some food."

Instead of heading into the building, Pluto tugged him towards the wall.

"Uh, Pluto?" Roxas asked. Then he heard something groan.

"What is it, boy?" Roxas bent down and heard another moan. Shit, a person! Pluto barked and yanked Roxas closer to the person on the ground. Maybe he'd been mugged? Maybe he was a druggie? It didn't matter, because Pluto had obviously decided they were adopting today. So Roxas bent down and pulled the person—_heavy person—_up into a standing position. Pluto then tugged Roxas back towards the store.

"Why didn't we get the food and _then _make friends, Pluto?" Roxas whined. Pluto ignored him.

After buying some Natural Balance Ultra Premium (Roxas knew just by the way the bag felt, as the brand was one of Pluto's favorites—even more than the beef and liver cans!), Roxas, Pluto, and their new friend ambled back towards Roxas' house.

The person—he was male, and he was taller than Roxas with long hair in a pony tail that stuck out everywhere and tickled Roxas' neck and cheek as he walked. He was wearing a leather coat, by the smell of it.

At least now his neighbors had a good reason to stare.

* * *

Roxas wasn't popular, but he hadn't been banished from everyone's sight because he was nice. He got the total stranger into his house and then arranged him into what he hoped was a comfortable seated position. (Roxas only had squishy big chairs in his living room, okay? They'd been cheap on craigslist and they were comfy and squishy and smelled awesome after he'd febreezed the shit out of them. And Pluto liked them, too. So there.) Then Roxas and Pluto bustled about trying to find things to help their friend.

Roxas figured he would have a bad headache, and assembled an array of medicine. He grabbed a glass from his kitchen cabinet and filled it with ice water. Then he began to run a bath. (New friend or not, the stranger stank. Rancid. What was it with Pluto and smells?) Roxas grabbed some of his largest clothes and stopped the water when it was almost full. (Scalding hot! Roxas loved baths that tried to burn his skin off. He was a masochist like that.) He also set out a first-aid kit in case the guy really had been mugged.

Pluto helped by bringing the man things: old newspapers, a couple of Roxas' shoes, squeaky toys, chewed-up tennis balls, and other assorted dog treasures. Then he sat on the stranger's feet for awhile. Then he wanted to play, but he knew Roxas was busy in the bathroom, so instead decided to lick stranger's face so he'd get up and play.

Unsurprisingly, Pluto was successful.

"Huh… what…WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?"

Roxas jumped three feet in the air.

* * *

Axel hadn't been doing so well in Twilight Town. The blonde girl's boyfriend had not been kind. Axel had a few bruises to show for that.

Axel had been stuck another night outside the only grocery store in the town. He'd been hungry and had decided to beg. He wasn't successful.

He was so sure he'd be fucking stuck in the fucking cold outside of this fucking store that sold fucking food that no one was willing to fucking buy for him for the rest of his fucking life. Fuck. He was doomed to die a miserable, cold death.

So it was a surprise when he woke up to a big, goofy-looking dog licking his face.

"PLUTO! Leave him alone! You'd better be off him before I get down there!" A voice echoed from up the stairs—stairs? He was in a house? In a chair! It was warm!

The dog was off him now, wagging its tail happily and chewing on a squeaky orange blob thing.

And then a blonde kid came down the stairs and approached him.

"Hey." Axel said.

"I'm glad you're awake…?"

"Axel."

"Axel. I'm Roxas."

Hello Roxas, indeed. The blonde was pretty smoking, in Axel's opinion. He had these beautiful blue eyes. Gorgeous blue. He didn't think he'd ever seen the color before.

"Were you out there all night? It can get pretty cold, so I ran a bath for you. It should warm you up. I also have a glass of water and some advil up there for you. Just head up the stairs." Roxas didn't make eye contact with Axel, and Axel assumed it was due to the fucking scar.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Axel leisurely climbed up the steps and walked into the bathroom. Axel was a nymph with a certain penchant for fire, and appreciated the scalding water. And it was fucking _hot _and wonderful.

After a nice bath, Axel decided that he liked the kid, even if he was a runt and his clothes were much too small.

* * *

Roxas had never had a house guest before. It was usually just him and Pluto. Roxas was stressing because he didn't know what to do. Was Axel going to stay? Should he make up a bed?

Roxas lived in a small two-story townhome in Twilight Town. He could walk or take the tram anywhere he needed to go, which was nice because he'd never be able to get his license.

Most of the townhomes in his area were identical. When you entered the front door, you could immediately head back into the kitchen. His kitchen island sort of stuck out in the middle of the living room, but it didn't really bother him. His pantry was too friggin' small, though. The stairs were immediately to the right after entering through the front door. They lead directly to the second floor, which was the bedroom. There was a bathroom on that floor. It was some kind of mutant loft floorplan.

Roxas was pretty smug to note that his mutant loft was _entirely paid off._

He did have a small back yard that was fenced in and a very nice size. He had a swing set back there (Roxas loved feeling weightless), as well as an outdoor doghouse for Pluto. The two spent a lot of time outdoors.

Anyway, Roxas decided on smashing his two comfy chairs together and covering them with sheets and a blanket to make some weird hybrid chair-bed. He wasn't really satisfied with it, and neither was Pluto because the dog kept jumping on the chairs and messing up the sheets even when Roxas tried to explain what they were for. Roxas huffed and went upstairs to get a pillow.

Axel decided to suffer in the teeny tiny clothes. They were too small and uncomfortable, but probably all the kid had available.

Roxas didn't look up from his task of collecting pillows.

"Do you feel better?"

"Much. Do you have any other clothes?" The redhead gestured to himself, implying the tightness of the outfit.

"I'm afraid not. Your clothes are in the wash. They'll be out in maybe an hour." Axel made a noise of appreciation, and then smirked.

"You just wanted to see me naked, didn't you?" He said flirtatiously.

"_What?"_

Axel chuckled. "Sneaking into the bathroom and stealing my clothes! You little sexual deviant. Do you like what you see?" Axel did a little dance and laughed at the blonde's blushing face.

"I was just trying to be helpful!" Axel noted that Roxas still wouldn't make eye contact. Was he really so disgusting?

"What do you think about my hair? It's gorgeous, ain't it? My favorite part of me."

"It is very long."

"And beautiful!"

"You have a lot of it."

"Don't you love the color!"

There was no response. Axel looked over at Roxas and noted him scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"Um, maybe I should introduce myself a little more thoroughly?"

Axel was confused. "Uh, what do you mean—"

"Hi, my name is Roxas Strife. And I'm blind."

Axel had to bite back his comment. How could someone so beautiful be so hideously deformed?

"I can't stay here."

Roxas' brow furrowed. "What are you—"

"I can't."

And Axel was gone.

* * *

A/N: Updates are fast because this story is fun to write. Don't worry, Axel's not too much of an asshole.

And I don't really like Pence. He reminds me of a radish. Is it just me?


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

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"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, so we're really not that different, me and you." - Colin Raye

* * *

Roxas didn't let it get to him.

He really tried not to let it get to him. Really. Honestly.

But what an _asshole!_

Roxas was in a bad mood, and Pluto could tell. The dog whined and shied away from his master, which made Roxas feel like he was taking his anger out on his pet.

"I'm sorry, Pluto." Roxas shoved his squishy chairs apart and flopped down into one of them. "It's just ridiculous, isn't it? That you can help someone so much and they still think shit of you so quick."

Roxas felt Pluto's head drop into his lap and began to scratch the dog behind the ears. He sighed.

"I was nice, you know? I didn't have to haul his heavy ass back here. I didn't have to go out of my way to be nice. What's so damn offensive about being blind? He rushed out of here like he was on fire!" Roxas frowned.

Pluto licked Roxas' cheek. Roxas had to crack a smile. "I know. I love you, too." Roxas grabbed the remote from his end table and turned on the television. _Nothing like mindless garbage to take your mind off your problems, _he sighed.

* * *

Belatedly, Axel realized he may have been a bit… hypocritical. After all, he was pretty hideous himself.

He gazed at his reflection in a nearby window and tried to justify his behavior to himself.

_But you were beautiful before._

_**He's beautiful now.**_

_But blind! Blind, Axel!_

_**Beautiful.**_

_He can't see. That's a sign of disfavor from the goddess._

_**But he's so beautiful.**_

_What is it with you? How can he be beautiful? He's a freak! _

_He'd never be welcome by your people. Ever. He can't even see them. How can he appreciate and understand the beauty so integral in our culture when he can't see it?_

_**It's not really my culture anymore.**_

Axel sighed and stared at his scar. He should probably go apologize. Eventually.

Besides, the kid had his clothes.

* * *

Roxas heard the doorbell, but didn't feel like moving.

Pluto, however, bounded to the door and started barking fervently like he always did. Roxas smiled thinly. Silly dog. He pushed himself up from a squishy chair and ambled to the front door. He had a pretty strong suspicion about who it might be.

He opened the door, and was hit with the faded scent of leather.

"Axel."

"Hey, Roxas."

_Cue the awkward silence, _Roxas thought acerbically. Where was Axel's apology?

"Can I come in?"

"But you were so eager to leave." He muttered sarcastically. Roxas heard a small sigh.

"You have my clothes."

"Oh." Roxas took a step back and made a gesture for Axel to enter.

And more awkward silence.

"They won't be ready for an hour." Roxas mumbled.

"I know." Axel replied.

"You didn't have to come back until they were ready."

"I know. But Roxas—" Axel cut himself off with a quick inhale. "Your dog is sniffing my ass."

Roxas sighed.

* * *

Axel felt really uncomfortable.

He wasn't good at apologies. In the past, he had offered sexual favors to the nymphs he offended instead of apologetic words. Actions speak louder than words, you know.

In fact, sexual interactions with the Royal family were considered a privilege. To be ravished by a nymph so lovely was one of the highest honors available.

Was that the sort of thing humans did?

"I can fuck you if you'd like."

"_What the hell?"_

_Obviously not_, Axel decided. One look at Roxas' scandalized face was enough to drive that message home.

"Why—what the _hell _are you trying to say? Do I look like the kind of guy who'd—no, I don't…!" Roxas stumbled over his worlds as he fumbled with his hands. "Why are you saying this shit?"

"I don't know?"

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'? You can't just barge into people's houses and announce you'd like to have sex! Unless you're a prostitute or swinger or something!"

"The first one."

"…_What?" _

"A prostitute."

"_**What?**_"

_Okay, maybe that's not any good either. _"Actually, I'm a swinger."

"Are you fucking with me?"

"I'd love to be fucking with you."

"We're not even a couple!"

"We could be?"

"We're not! Do you even know what you're saying?"

"…Yes?"

"No." Roxas sighed again. "You're a crazy bastard."

Axel's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I have a father!"

* * *

Roxas couldn't believe this guy. He couldn't believe himself, either.

Why was he not calling the police? Why was he not kicking Axel—who shall now be referred to as "that crazy asshole"—out of his house?

Why was he making that crazy asshole hot chocolate?

"Dark chocolate sensations, Roxas! And marshmallows. It is not truly hot chocolate without marshmallows."

"You know it's the middle of summer, right?"

"Yes?"

"Don't you want, I don't know, lemonade?"

"If I wanted lemonade, I would have asked for lemonade."

"Just sayin'."

"Well, quit that. I don't need your second opinion."

"It's my house."

"That doesn't mean I need your opinion about my drink. I'm pretty selective about what goes in my mouth."

"Oh, are you."

"Shut the fuck up."

* * *

"Do you like cheese?"

Roxas made a face. "Like, Easy Cheese?"

"Why would it be easy?"

"You press the nozzle and it comes out of the can?"

"Really? How odd. Does it taste good?"

"Pluto doesn't even like it."

"Woof!"

"Should you feed him something like that?"

"It was an accident. I stop buying something when my dog won't even eat it. Do you like cheese?"

"No, I fucking hate it."

"Then why…? You know, never mind."

* * *

"Do you happen to have a lighter?"

"I'm not letting you smoke in my house."

"It's not for smoking. I just like to flick it on and off."

"You're a strange fuck."

"Do you have one or not."

"No."

"Shit."

"I have matches."

"I don't want a fucking match. They burn too fast."

"Then tough luck."

"You should really consider getting a lighter. They're on sale at Moogle Mart for a few dollars."

"I'm not buying you a lighter."

"Damn."

"You know what I really fucking hate?"

"What?"

"Rain."

"Because it puts out fires?"

"Because it messes up my hair."

"Poor baby."

"Shut up. It takes awhile to make my hair look like this."

"Such trifles are wasted on me."

"Yeah, you'd have to see it to believe it."

"You know what I hate?"

"What?"

"Sayings like 'you have to see it to believe it'."

"Because you can't see?"

"Because people are usually lying about whatever they saw, and you just wasted precious seconds of your life you can never get back."

"Cynical much?"

"It might also be because I can't see."

"Maybe it's because the saying kind of rhymes?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You gotta see it to believe it! Kind of catchy."

"'See' and 'believe' do not rhyme."

"Slant rhyme, maybe?"

"Not a chance."

* * *

"Why do you have a TV?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can't watch it."

"I can listen to it."

"Isn't that what radio is for?"

"TV shows don't broadcast on the radio. How would I keep up with my favorite shows?"

"Oh. That's true."

"You're a pretty insensitive asshole."

"I'll have you know my asshole is plenty sensitive, thank you."

* * *

"Do you have a favorite animal?"

"I'm partial to dogs."

"Oh, yeah. Him."

"Yep. His name is Pluto."

"Woof!"

"He's pretty clever. Where'd you get him?"

"From Mickey's."

"Mickey's?"

"It's a school for guide dogs."

"Oh. That would make sense."

"Yep."

"I like cats, myself."

"Cats are okay."

"Can you imagine a seeing eye cat? That thing would lead you all over the place! It'd be fucked up."

"I'm pretty sure that's why they use dogs."

"Do you think some dumb fuck ever tried?"

"Probably."

"That shit didn't work."

"Nope."

"But Christ, that guy would have some stories."

* * *

"What do you like to eat for breakfast?"

"Usually just Cheerios."

"Cheery Hoes? You fucking scamp, Roxas."

"I'm dying of laughter."

"You aren't laughing."

"It's on the inside."

"You can laugh on the inside?"

"I've got fucking skills."

"Well, I believe it. Those hoes sure were cheery about something."

* * *

"I can't find a job."

"A lot of people these days can't find a job."

"I don't care about them. I care about me."

"Well, do you have any valuable skills?"

"Like balancing a spoon on my nose?"

"Not quite like that, no. Can you do really do that?"

"Wanna see?"

"I can't see."

"Oh. Right. You'll just have to trust me on it."

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you."

"I can also drop it like it's hot."

"What?"

"And shake it like a salt shaker."

"…"

"I also like big butts. No lie."

"You are fucking crazy."

"Maybe crazy about fucking."

"You're never going to get a job."

"What? Why not? Who doesn't want an employee that can jump on it?"

* * *

"I have a question."

"I have an answer."

"It might be another one of those insensitive asshole questions."

"I'm immune by now."

"Okay, excellent. So when you shit, how do you know if you need to wipe again?"

And so went one of the most bizarre hours of Roxas' life.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was what I was having so much fun with! I love AxelxRoxas banter. It's one of my favorite things about them.

I've got the next chapter finished. When I get 10 reviews for this chapter, I'll put it up. Why? Because tons of people are reading this and I want to hear what you think. Plus it's a good way to pace my posting.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three **

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"The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision." – Helen Keller

* * *

When Axel got his clothes back, he didn't know what to do. His excuse for lingering around was gone.

"So, uh, Roxas. You know how you were making up that bed and everything…"

Roxas seemed amused. Damn him. "Yes?"

"Do you think I could stay here?"

"Well, I don't know."

Axel seethed just a little a bit. "You mean you can't decide."

"Maybe."

"Now you're fucking with me."

"You're the one that started it. And I suppose you can stay."

The tension in Axel's shoulders released. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Do you know what you're going to do?"

Axel turned to the blonde with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"As in, you can't stay here indefinitely—"

"I'll pay you in sexual favors."

"—and during our conversation you did whine about not being able to find a job—"

"Again, I'll pay you in sexual favors."

"—so I was thinking that maybe you could work for me."

"…What? You actually want sexual favors?"

Roxas sighed.

* * *

"Can you repeat that?"

Roxas knew he'd gotten himself into this mess, so he was going to have to deal with it. "I can repeat it, but you really need to be paying attention, okay? It's not that hard a concept to understand—"

"No, no. You don't understand. I just, I can't believe this is your fucking _job_, as in, you get paid _munny _to do this!"

"Why not? It's a great way to test their sound effects and that sort of thing. If I can figure it out, anyone else should be able to, as well. Even dumb fucks like you."

"Shut up. I can't believe you get paid to pay video games."

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Like, seriously. You're not bullshitting?"

"I'm not bullshitting."

"Holy fuck."

"Yep."

"So, this is another reason for the nice TV?"

"Not really. I can't see the game, remember? It's about sound quality."

"Then why do you have such a great TV?"

"Because it was a gift."

"From?"

"My brother. Who is insanely jealous of my job."

"You really make a living off of this?"

"Yep. About sixty thousand a year."

"Holy fuck. You're shitting me."

"I'm not. Not only am I unique because I'm blind, I'm also really good."

"Really good at what?"

"Playing video games, duh. So I can beat them faster, which means that I can in turn test more games."

"But you can't give reviews based on what it looks like—"

"Exactly. I have to base my comments on stuff that most gamers overlook."

"Well, damn."

"Yep."

"So how much do you play?"

"I limit myself to about ten hours on weekdays. Maybe more on the weekends. I don't get the sick headaches from staring at the monitor, but sitting in one spot for too long isn't healthy."

"This is so fucking cool. I am so jealous."

"Why? It's your job now, too."

"Hot damn!"

* * *

"This is the lamest shit ever, Roxas."

"You win some, you lose some."

"This is the second one. The losing one."

"We aren't losing."

"No, we're just playing fucking _Harry Potter Quidditch._"

"What's wrong with Quidditch?"

"I was expecting, I don't know, Final Fantasy XXX or something."

"Final Fantasy XXX? That sounds like a porn game."

"It would be better than Quidditch."

"Oh, come on. It's kind of fun."

"Hermione's voice is fucking annoying."

"_You can do it, Harry!_"

"Stop that. Stop mimicking her. It will haunt my dreams."

"Nightmares?"

"Whatever."

* * *

"Are you aware that we just played Quidditch for seven fucking hours?" Axel lamented, tossing one of his arms dramatically over his head. "Seven hours! Not including when we stopped for those orange penis puffs—"

"Cheetos, Axel."

"—And the times we took a bathroom break! That was the stuff of nightmares!" Axel peeked over from under his arm to see Roxas smirking down at his laptop. "What are you writing?"

"The review. That's how I get paid, you know."

Axel's attention was piqued. "How do you know which key is which?"

"Braille. It's a language of indentations."

"So, there's like a symbol for each letter?"

"It's an arrangement of dots. My fingers have the keyboard memorized, though, so I can type on any computer. Most usually have little bars on the F and J keys for index fingers, so going off of that is easy." Roxas began typing, the little clinking noises of keys echoing throughout the otherwise quiet room. Pluto had fallen asleep earlier. Not that Axel blamed him. Quidditch wasn't exciting.

Axel mused for a moment. "I don't know if I could be blind."

"It isn't really a choice."

"I know, I just meant for me. Now. It'd be an insane adjustment. I feel like I take so much for granted."

"You probably do."

"Well, geez. Thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that." Roxas said apologetically. "I just meant that it's different. A lot of people are sympathetic. Like 'Oh, you poor dear. How dreadful to lose something so precious.' It's not as if I had sight to begin with. I was born this way. It's not a loss."

Axel hummed in agreement to let Roxas know he was listening. This was the most the blonde had said about the subject, and Axel wasn't going to stop him now.

"I would liken it to reading a book then seeing a movie based on that book. It's just not the same. It's not how you pictured it. In most cases, the movie isn't necessarily wrong, it's just not how you imagined it."

"That does make sense. Would you want it?"

"Would I want what? To see?"

"Yes. If it were available, would you want a cure?"

Roxas pursed his lips in thought. "It's hard to say. On one hand, people tell me I miss out on so much. It makes me wonder…" Roxas paused for a moment. "I've always wondered about colors."

"Colors?"

"Yep. Because the first thing people say to me is that my eyes are so blue. I don't know what that is."

"It's a color."

Roxas laughed. "I know that! But that's not something tangible I'll ever be able to understand. I can say that someone's gaze pierces my skin like a cold winter chill, or that it warmly greets me like a humid morning."

"How poetic."

"It's not, though. I don't think those are just pretty words. That's the way I describe things."

"My hair is red."

"Your hair is thick and very soft. I'm not surprised it does take you a long time in the mornings to make it stay where you want it too."

"I like it to stick out all over the place. Yours does too."

"Does what?"

"Stick out. But more stuck up."

The two laughed, which woke up Pluto. The dog bounded over to Roxas and deposited a chewed-up tennis ball in his lap.

"Want to go play fetch?"

"Are you talking to me or your dog?"

"Both of you. Let's go to the beach."

"I've never been to the beach."

"Never? Really? Well, then. What are we waiting for?"

* * *

Axel and Roxas alternated the tennis ball between themselves as they hurtled it down the shore.

"It's beautiful here." Axel confessed. "I'm from the forests."

"Forests?"

Axel bit his lip. "That's the best way I can describe it."

"Wouldn't you burn the place down?" Roxas laughed.

Axel shrugged. "I tried to control myself."

"Thank god I didn't buy you that lighter. My house would be gone."

"I wouldn't burn down your house!"

"I wouldn't take that bet, good sir."

"I didn't say I would take it, either."

The two stood in peaceful silence for a few moments.

"I can't believe how big it is."

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Just close them."

Axel did, and felt his senses roar to life.

"I've had people tell me my eyes are 'ocean blue,' before. I don't know what blue is. I don't know what the ocean looks like. But I know the smell of the sea, the feel of the water and sand, the way that the salt lingers like a thin layer of film. I know how the sun feels on my skin. Can you feel it?"

"Yes."

"Isn't it magical?"

Axel could only nod. The roar of the waves was almost overpowering. He was jolted back to life when Pluto dropped a ball at his feet.

"Roxas?"

"Axel?"

"Thanks."

"…Anytime."

* * *

A/N: I decided to go ahead and post because I can. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**

* * *

**

"Our hearts are drunk with a beauty our eyes could never see." -George W. Russell

* * *

It started slowly, and when Axel realized what was happening he was more than alarmed.

He was helping Roxas clean up after a delicious dinner of spaghetti: two white plates now stained red with sauce and bread crumbs, two empty glasses with a film of milk lingering on the bottom, two plain forks. Axel handed Roxas the dishes and their hands brushed.

It shouldn't have been a big deal. Roxas certainly didn't act like it was a big deal.

Axel felt an electric jolt. It was like Roxas' touch fired every sensory neuron in his system and his brain was on overdrive.

Axel didn't know what to say. He had suspicions about the jolt, but he didn't want his suspicions to be confirmed quite yet. He didn't know if he could handle it yet.

That didn't stop Axel from seeking Roxas out.

Axel had been banned from cooking after a certain mishap with the toaster (there were scorch marks on Roxas' granite countertops. Only Axel could burn granite countertops.). He sought to find other slightly subtle ways to help Roxas.

It was weird, this overwhelming desire to help. The things Axel found himself doing _voluntarily _were the sorts of tasks the uglier serving nymphs performed. Axel found himself doing a lot of these little tasks because…

He didn't want to say it. He wasn't sure he could handle it.

Roxas really overworked himself, Axel noticed. But Roxas never asked for his help. Axel would be lounging about on the squishy chairs and Roxas would shuffle inside with arms laden with groceries and the leash for Pluto's walk and the mail and all sorts of these little items representing a various task. Roxas would sort them all out while cooking an excellent dinner for two and at the end of the day he could still find the time to vacuum the stairs.

Axel respected Roxas. Maybe that's where it started?

Axel hadn't been expecting someone blind—handicapped, by all definitions—to be so damn efficient and witty and cute. Roxas didn't need Axel. At all, for anything. He was allowing Axel to live with him because he was simply a really nice guy.

It was just… blind people weren't supposed to be like that. The horror stories of Axel's childhood flashed before his eyes when he thought about it: the goddess taking away a person's sight because they'd disobeyed her laws, and the punishment of never seeing beauty again. Roxas didn't know anything about the goddess, though. Axel had asked and received a funny look. When Axel had explained…

"Axel. It's not divine punishment. It's called genetics, fucktard. My uncle's blind, too. It's just something that happens."

Axel wasn't entirely sure, but Roxas didn't seem cursed or anything. How could he have ever thought Roxas was hideously deformed?

Roxas was fucking amazing. He never seemed to bump into anything or awkwardly fumble around for items he misplaced. He moved with this sort of innocent grace Axel had never before seen. And Roxas was so kind. Who else would let a random stranger live with them for days on end?

Axel had lost track of how long he'd been living here. He wasn't in any sort of rush to go anywhere else. He wanted to stay with Roxas.

Roxas who may or may not possibly be Axel's mate. For whom Axel was displaying outrageously for.

Damn.

* * *

It wasn't really something that was too well known amongst the other races, or something that most nymphs acknowledged. Mating, that is.

Mating implied some sort of lifelong commitment, and most nymphs did not want to be tied down. There were cases, however, of nymphs finding their mate in another nymph. This attraction was always mutual, and these couples were the only monogamous relationships Axel had ever heard of in his homeland.

Honestly, he had always thought it was some sort of excuse to ward off potential partners. The Rite of Mating had always been respected, though, because it was one of the goddess' laws. It was unlawful to pursue a nymph who was mated.

The Rite, in order to be holy and under protection by the goddess' law, had to follow three steps.

Displaying was the longest step, the hardest, and the first. It was designed as a test in order to prove a nymph's strength and ability to provide for his mate. The nymph did all sorts of weird shit to prove himself worthy to his mate of choice. There was no time limit for Displaying; the first step continued until the mate of choice began the second.

The next step was Reception. The mate had to acknowledge the nymph's prowess, and then had to either Receive the nymph or Deny him. If Received, the nymph and mate could move directly to the third step. If Denied, the nymph had to Court the mate for a specific amount of time in order to prove his affection. After this set period of time the mate could again Receive the nymph, moving the couple to the third step, or ultimately Reject the nymph's offer. Rejection did not kill a nymph, but it was emotionally painful.

The final step was the Consummation of the Union. The nymph and mate dressed in all white, took a ceremonial bath together, and then had sex for days.

Axel had long ago decided that the goddess had saved the best for last.

* * *

Roxas had no idea what Axel was doing. All sorts of little tasks that he did around the house started to complete themselves. Axel was even doing the _laundry._ It was fucking _weird, _but Roxas didn't mind. It was actually nice to be able to just flop in a squishy chair and relax for awhile.

Roxas wouldn't let Axel take Pluto on walks by himself. He liked walking Pluto too much. Not to mention he didn't want Pluto readjusting to take orders from Axel.

The two played video games for hours on end. Roxas had discovered that Axel was an amazing storyteller. He was funny and sometimes so fucking perverted, but Roxas had come to like him anyway.

The blonde blushed furiously. Maybe he liked Axel more than just as a friend? Perhaps? Maybe a lot more than just "perhaps," if Roxas was going to be honest about it.

Axel had the best hands. Maybe that was weird to say, but he really did. They were larger than Roxas' own, and they were always warm. His fingers were so long! His palms were fascinating.

_His life line is surprisingly long_, Roxas mused on day as he traced his thumb over the crease. His fate line was very faint.

Roxas' fingers fit perfectly between Axel's.

Was that so wrong? To hold hands with a crazy asshole when they took Pluto for a walk? To think about what life might be like if Axel did end up staying indefinitely?

Was he getting too attached? Probably. Most likely. But Roxas didn't care. Axel was the first person who had ever made him feel like this.

All the little touches! Axel seemed obsessed with ruffling Roxas' hair, giving him these practically seductive shoulder rubs. Sometimes when they were sitting on the squishy chairs Axel would toss one arm over the back of Roxas' chair. Like he was sort of almost holding Roxas but not really because his arm was just resting on the chair. And one time he touched Roxas' thigh!

Roxas was pretty sure he was going crazy.

What if Axel kissed him? Holy crap. What if he passed out when Axel kissed him? That was a strong possibility, as Roxas had never been kissed before.

Was that weird? Being twenty-one and not yet having a first kiss? It's not like Roxas was a prude, he just hadn't found the right person yet. Was it wrong to wait for the right person? Roxas didn't think so.

Sometimes he thought that it was because he was blind. No one really wanted to get it on with a blind person.

Roxas was having a little get-together tonight with his few friends, and Axel could be a little callous. He didn't want any of his friends offended, but he also didn't want Axel getting offended. Pence would be a problem. He wasn't sure what would happen, but his friends insisted on a visit.

Axel had promised to be on his best behavior. Roxas believed him, but that didn't stop his concerns.

He didn't want to have to choose between his friends and his… whatever the hell Axel was. Roommate? Housemate? Future boyfriend?

Roxas liked the sound of that last one. Future boyfriend, it was.

* * *

Roxas' friends were coming.

Axel had never needed so desperately to impress humans before. These were people that Roxas liked. If they liked him, Roxas might like him.

Fuck Displaying.

Surprisingly, it was the radish-head and his girlfriend. Roxas introduced the two as Pence and Olette.

These friends gawked at the fucking scar that Axel had somehow _forgotten _about.

Maybe that's why it started.

Axel had been so sure he'd never find anyone to see beyond his face and yet so quickly he'd stumbled upon Roxas, who was blind.

Roxas who was blind and gave Axel the sweetest smiles. Roxas who was blind and so fucking patient with Axel's stupid questions about the human world. Roxas who was blind and sang like an angel in the shower when he thought no one but Pluto could hear him.

Roxas who was blind and saw Axel.

Fuck. Axel was in love.

* * *

A/N: Yay! We finally see some romance. Thanks for the reviews, guys, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

****

**

* * *

**

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." – Miss Piggy

* * *

Radish-head was quickly moving up on Axel's hit list.

"So, Axel, how'd you end up staying with Roxas? I thought you recognized Naminé at the station?"

"Naminé? Yeah, she's second best to Olette! But Axel was following her like a drooling dog!"

"Axel, you still owe me for the ticket from Hollow Bastion."

"Sleeping in front of Moogle Mart? You could have gone home with me."

"What do you think about cheese? I love cheese."

"Hey Axe, how'd you get that scar on your face?"

All these and more! Axel didn't want to answer any of them, but he could have throttled radish-head for the last one. Because Roxas had perked up.

"Scar? You've got a scar?"

"Yeah. How did you not—oh yeah."

Axel fumed. Wasn't radish-head Roxas' friend? Why did he forget Roxas was blind?

"What's wrong with having a scar?" Roxas asked.

"He probably got it doing something dangerous."

"Oh." Roxas replied.

"It wasn't that dangerous, but it wasn't an accident. Someone did this to me." Axel tried to explain.

"It's pretty fucking huge! You probably deserved it!"

Joke or not, the shit hit the fan.

"THAT'S IT!"

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"Axel, what the hell—"

"DIE, RADISH-HEAD. DIE DIE DIE!"

Dinner with Andre it was not.

* * *

Roxas watched his two friends go with a sigh. He turned around to face a heavily fuming Axel. The guy was taking heavy breaths. Roxas could feel the tension radiating from his skin.

"Sorry, Axel. Pence can be a bit of an ass sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

Roxas bit his lip and nodded. "He's been worse since our friend Hayner left."

"What do you mean?"

"Pence and Hayner were best friends for a long time, even before I moved here. This asshole named Seifer always picked on them. He picked on me, too. He was kind of an asshole like that. But he bullied Pence the most because he's an easy target. Hayner always defended Pence against Seifer." Roxas paused. "Then we all grew up. Seifer and Hayner started dating."

Axel let out a low whistle following Roxas' explanation. "I bet Pence fucking hates that."

"Oh yeah. And Hayner's pissed because it's his decision. Which it definitely is. But everyone thought Hayner and Olette would end up together. Then Hayner decided to be gay—"

"You don't _decide_ to be gay—"

"I know that, but Pence doesn't see it that way. He's felt betrayed for a long time, and like he's Olette's Plan B. It doesn't help that I told them…"

"What?"

"I'm gay, too." Roxas admitted softly. "And now Pence thinks every guy in my life is going to sweep me away like Seifer did with Hayner."

Axel muttered a couple of curses under his breath. "That's the stupidest load of shit I've ever heard."

Roxas laughed a bit. "You don't mind?"

"What?"

"That I'm gay?"

"Why the fuck would I mind? You haven't molested me in my sleep yet." Axel cackled. "Feel free to begin any time."

"W-What?"

"I think I'm Roxas-sexual."

For the first time since the day they met, awkward silence dominated their conversation.

"…Oh."

"That's all you have to say? Don't you want me, baby?"

"Axel—" Roxas cut himself off with a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Yeah?"

Roxas cracked a grin. "Yeah. But let's talk about your scar."

Axel froze. "What do you mean, my scar?"

"It set you off. Badly. Pence said other shit but that's what set you off."

"Maybe I just reached my radish-head threshold for the day and exploded."

"Maybe, but I think that's bullshit."

Axel sighed. "Roxas, you aren't going to believe me."

"Try me."

* * *

Axel and Roxas sat down together in the squishy chairs, with a mug of hot chocolate and glass of lemonade respectively.

And Axel explained it all: the nymphs, his Royal Proving, the way everyone he'd known had turned against him so quickly. How he'd been unhappy in Hollow Bastion. How he'd been unhappy in Twilight Town. How Roxas made him happy again.

Roxas had shifted uncomfortably when Axel explained the Rite of Mating.

"So that's why you've been doing laundry?"

"Yes."

"Um, Axel?"

"Yes?"

"I Received you, didn't I? When I said…when I said yes earlier."

"I'd like to think so."

"Okay." Roxas took a deep breath. "Okay. Do we have to have sex, like, now? I don't think I'm…"

"No, Roxas." Roxas could feel Axel smile. "We'll wait until we're ready, okay?"

"Okay. That'd be good."

"Hell yes it will be good."

"Dirty pervert."

"Your dirty pervert."

"Yeah." Axel grinned at the dreamy look on Roxas' face. "I think I like that."

The two sat in comfortable silence, each enjoying the other's presence.

* * *

**_Two Weeks Later._**

"Axel?" Roxas fingered the edge of his white bathrobe, slightly nervous.

"Yeah, babe?" Axel was dressed in his own white robe, messing with the faucets of the tub.

"Your scar makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

Axel nodded. "A bit."

"I've told you, you could get plastic surgery."

"I could."

"They might take you back."

"Who?"

"The nymph people."

"Ah, yes. Them."

"You might be able to go home."

Axel dropped a kiss on Roxas' forehead. "I already am home."

* * *

"Home is where the heart is. Home is wherever I am with you."

* * *

**FIN**

* * *

A/N: And yes, we're done! No sequel is planned. My goal for this story was to simply break 10,000 words. An easy goal, perhaps, but a big first for me. Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, and most of all enjoying!


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